Mental Musings from
The Marginatrix
...because sometimes I just need to share my thoughts.
People say 2020 sucked. It really did for me. Today I'm remembering Charlie, who was taken from our family way too soon a year ago today. Not a day passes that I don't miss him, even if it's to think, "Thank God he doesn't need to go out in this horrible weather to go potty." Today, I'm trying to focus on all of the fun things we experienced together without getting sucked into memories of his last month of suffering as we tried to keep him with us just a little bit longer. It would never have been long enough. Charlie is the best friend I didn't realize I needed, my first and only dog. I wanted to take him everywhere with me, my constant companion, because he made everything more fun, and yes, sometimes more difficult when he'd want to go in a different direction, but always MORE. He was an ambassador for fun, feeling the need to greet everyone he encountered, even those who didn't realize they wanted to get to know him. Some might opt to cling to their grumpy or disagreeable exterior, but he'd never let it dissuade him from approaching his next new friend. Every rejection, and there weren't many of them, was another opportunity to try again. His enthusiasm was contagious and eventually, most people just succumbed to his charm. I never understood when people would point out DOG is GOD spelled backward. I think it takes having a dog like Charlie in your life to fully comprehend the truth in that statement. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (Corinthians 13:1) Charlie was love. He brought a slice of Heaven into my life, and this past year hasn't made me miss him less. It has only made it easier to explain why I do. Losing Charlie has helped me to understand, in a way I never could have before, the pain of losing a dog. It doesn't really go away; it just gets easier to hide. They leave an imprint on our hearts and in our lives because they become an integral part of everything we do. There's a reason they refer to someone who follows you around as "dogging" your footsteps. I miss my footsteps being dogged. I miss having someone who would come to me any time I called, no questions asked, ready to just be there. I miss the look of adoration that I absolutely did not deserve. I miss Charlie.
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Elizabeth J. Connor
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