2 stars I’m not really sure where to start with my review of this book. The editing was sub-par and the writing was sometimes repetitive, with awkward sentence construction, and altogether too many exclamation points!! But the story itself was fascinating. Damina was a bit slow to figure things out. She had all of the same clues as the reader, so she really should have been able to piece things together earlier. The story seemed really long, and that would have been okay if some of that time had been spent creating a real connection between the reader and the characters, but I thought it fell flat. I never really understood Damina on a deep level. I never understood her actions. For example, why was she so easily aggravated by other people saying things she didn’t like? Why was she so annoyed by the people trying to help her? I didn’t believe the emotions conveyed early in the book. We’re told how much she loves Jackson, but if anything, he sounds controlling and judgmental. I mean, he tells a group of friends and family that when they marry, she will become Mrs. Jackson Nash! What year is this anyway? We’re told how much Damina loves her cousin Dacari, but Dacari may be the most annoying character in existence. She seems so self-absorbed and so self-centered, I couldn’t understand Damina’s love of her company or why she felt guilty for taking care of her own needs, but when Dacari accused Damina of being selfish, that was over-the-top. Upon reflection, I understood somewhat, but to me, it seemed like Dacari thought the sun rose and set upon herself and was hardly in a position to make that kind of statement. At one point, Damina thinks, “Nothing she (Allyson) can say will relieve me of the selfishness I feel at mourning my separation from Jackson when my cousin needed me the most.” Damina had just gone through an extremely painful betrayal that broke her heart, but she feels guilty for not being there for her cousin. In an ideal world, she would have been there, but to feel guilty about it makes no sense. There were problems with the wrong word being used, like: reside instead of subside, sorted past instead of sordid past (twice!), dawns instead of dons, and “hardly doubt” is used, creating a double-negative which negated the intent of the sentence. Sentence structures were sometimes confusing, as with this whopper of a dangling participle: “I slip out of the parlor as everyone begins to congregate to hear him speak and head to the bathroom.” Here’s an odd dialogue tag that mixes up the verb tenses: “Dalcour says as he leans against the door and staring at me as if he wanted to laugh.” Even my spellchecker wants to correct it, which makes me wonder if it was purposefully ignored. Here’s another poorly-worded sentence: “Gratefully, the courteous bartender notices my angst and places a menu in front of me.” Since “gratefully” modifies “the bartender,” I have to wonder what he was so grateful for. There were many of these types of things, and they detracted from the reading experience. Going into it, I knew this was book one in a series, but I was annoyed by the cliffhanger ending. There are ways to motivate the reader to read the next book in a series without introducing a loose end at the end. Most things seemed to be resolved, but not enough. The problem is, I don’t feel compelled to read the next book in the series. I’m afraid it will just consist of more times that Damina will wax poetic about Dalcour’s raspberry lips and his enticing floral scent of lavender and jasmine. And if I’m being honest, she kept referring to him as sexy, but every description seemed to bely that, with his childlike giggles and innocent expressions of joy, and so on. I’m glad he was joyous, but I have a problem seeing a childlike or innocent man as sexy. The book was tedious from the beginning, but about one-third of the way into it, it picked up momentum and I found myself looking forward to reading more of it. Perhaps I had simply acclimated myself to the level of writing contained within the book. I’ll admit, the writer was skilled at describing scenes, if not emotions, and the more action, the more compelling it became. Still, I’m not sure I can recommend it without revisions. July 15, 2022
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Elizabeth J ConnorWriter. Editor. Proofreader. Archives
September 2022
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