5 stars Get the tissues. Kate Meader has a gift for empathetically cutting to the heart of loss and grief and taking her characters on the journey toward learning to move on and love again. I knew I wanted to read this book before it was written. I was familiar with the general outlines of Gunnar Bond’s story and knew that reading his story would be a heartbreaking endeavor. Nevertheless, when an author takes the time and effort to depict a suffering character with such compassion and clarity, I feel an obligation to read it. And I’m glad I did. Gunnar, three years after the death of his wife and twins (approx 4 years old), is haunted by what he should have done differently to prevent their deaths. To cope with his loss, he takes to texting his wife’s phone to tell her how much he misses her. Unbeknownst to him, the phone number is passed on to Sadie and she responds to his grim messages, attempting to buoy his spirits. A friendship ensues. It’s a fantastic beginning to a relationship, original and cleverly told. Their eventual meeting is unexpected, yet totally believable. The development of the relationship is poignant and realistic. POV switches between Sadie and Gunnar, with the reader gaining a sense of the psychological issues that motivate their actions. Dialogue is authentic and revealing, with some spectacular insights. There are some great lines in this book, some of which made me laugh out loud (literally), probably because they were so unexpected. This one, in particular, slayed me, “‘Hi,’ she returned, the soul of wit.” I loved this reluctant observation by Sadie, as she decided to ignore her problems: “Because ignoring the problem always worked.” Comparing Gunnar’s self-imposed exile to “Little House on the Prairie, but with alcohol and swearing” was clever, as was this description of Sadie: “To compensate for her just tumbled out a bag of Doritos appearance, she smiled at hockey camp guy.” There were also some descriptions of pain and hurt that were so visceral, I felt them myself. After Gunnar receives some painful news, he attempts to continue walking toward his destination, but the “people walking toward him were watery blurs, then invisible as darkness edged out the light.” And this description of Gunnar was just so insightful, and clearly true: “His factory setting was good guy. This cranky, brooding version was a placeholder, a shell he’d created to pour his pain and hurt into.” (I’ll be honest. I would have edited that sentence so it didn’t end with a preposition, but that doesn’t detract from the brilliance of the statement.) Theo Kershaw (Instacrush) is a ray of sunshine in this book. No surprise, really. He brings levity and pure joy to everything and he serves as comic relief to the more difficult emotions. He keeps appearing to push Gunnar in the right direction, but this statement, at a “family” picnic where Theo is working the grill with Gunnar’s assistance, is pure gold. “He poked at the burger again because he couldn't leave well enough alone. That’s what’s known as a metaphor, kids.” The happy ending I expected was not as easy to reach as I might have thought. Even when Gunnar makes the effort he thinks will be sufficient, Sadie has the strength and insight to push him further. Sadie is a strong, caring woman who learns to value herself and have faith in her own abilities, so this isn’t just about Gunnar’s journey. They help to bring out the best in one another, which is what every healthy relationship should do. July 17, 2020
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